DO YOU SPY On The Man In Your Life?

You know he's faithful to you, because you know he's been what he's been doing and who he's been with every minute of the day. Lindsay Nicholson believes nothing keeps you together like a little healthy mistrust.

Dan think his girlfriend is a witch. If the merest thought of infidelity enters his mind, Meg seem to know about it. He thinks she has EPS. She says it's female intuition. What she doesn't tell him is that every night while he brushing his teeth she searches his pockets. A phone number on a book of matches or a parking ticket for an unfamiliar part of town - there could be innocent explanations for all of them, but Meg prepares her pre-emptive strike anyway.

It isn't that Dan is unfaithful. He's just a good looking guy who occasionally gives one of the girls from work a lift home or chats with a fellow (female) customer while he waits for his friends in a pub. It never goes further than that. Dan knows that after five years of monogamy he's still attractive to the other women but ("Thanks God," he says) he doesn't have to do anything about it. Men like that kind of security. As for Meg - the kind of person who can't walk past a phone without pressing the redial to find out the last number called - well, it seems to suit her too. It may not sound like the perfect relationship but it works for them.

Relationships based on 100% honest are, like pure linen sheets. Sure, they sound fine in theory but ironing out the wrinkles after you used the sheets tire after a while. Just as telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth can get to be very tedious. For practical, daily use, polycotton is easier. The "polycotton" relationship means telling your man you're going for a drink with the girls after work. The pure "linen" variety would involve disclosing to him that there's also a chance the new guy in accounts will be there and you wouldn't mind batting your eyelashes at him.

A little economy with the truth is inevitable, but spying on your partner is unacceptable. For instance, steaming opens envelopes never works. When you try to stick them down again the flap always look tampered with. It's better to hang over his shoulder as he opens his mail saying; "oh that looks interesting..." Likewise, listening in on the extension is best reserved for made-for-tv movies. However absent mindedly picking up the phone i the bedroom when he's talking on the one downstairs is understandable.

The healthiest relationships are based on mutual distrust or, to put it more gently, never taking each other for granted. The old saying that if a man is unfaithful, the wife is always the last to know, is a cliche precisely because it's so often true. Of course you need to be savvy about it. Katie, for instance doesn't believe that Mark is having an affair. How could he be? She never lets him out of her sight except when he's at work. Then, if he has to stay late, she rings repeatedly, to check he really is at his desk and not somewhere else!

Actually, he's usually under his desk, with the secretary. And he boasts about this to his friends. When the phone rings he reaches for the receiver and chats to Katie. Then he says: "Sorry, I've got to go, something come up..." Poor Katie. She ought to turn up unexpectedly to take him out for a drink on one of his late nights. Or maybe she doesn't want to know after all.

What say you?


dellyne said...

i never do..

and prefer not to.

Qumang said...

You are? I hope so.

If not you must be very stressful to imagine what gonna be happened to you along the relationship.

But I know within in your deep deep heart you are wondering you man will stab you from behind.

You can lie to the others, but you never can lie to God and you yourself. Remember that young lady.