4 THINGS Never To Tease A Guy About

This brave male explains which subjects are most scared to men.

Let's set one thing straight: You can tease me about the way I dress or hold my stomach in whatever you walk by. Fine. That said, I'll admit there are some things you should never ever tease me - or any other guy - about. Our HAIR, STATURE, SALARY, and PENIS size. Poke fun at one of those and you might as well rip out our hearts and use them as coasters for your herbal tea. Why are these such sore spots for men? First, they can be compared against other's men. Second, we have absolutely no POWER to change them.

Men believe their financial worth reflects their innerworth. So teasing us about our salaries is really another way of making fun of our manhood. Recently, my date Danielle made fun of me when she said, "Your TV is the tiniest of any guy I know." That comment burned a hole in my ego because it pitted me against the rest of the guys she knows - men with bigger , wider, um, screens. Big TV means big wallets. And a guy's net worth isn't something he can just instantly change - unless he has a gun and ski mask. The cut deepened when, continuing to survey my flat, she asked, "so what do you spend your money on?" Should I mention the Rogaine? I wondered.

If there's anything men are sensitive about - it's our hair. Every guy I know worries about losing his locks one day, because he knows that with his hair goes his ability to attract women. My friend Dan was devastated after a girlfriend said, Your is so soft. Too bad you don't have more of it." Foul!

And men can't do anything about their height. My brothers are 6 feet tall. I'm 5ft 7in. When my Jody teased, "Your brothers got all the height - what did you get?" I replied: "A sunny #$&%ing disposition!" Although there have been many puny-yet-Napoleon, studies show that the taller men are taken more seriously than guys like me. There is also a belief that the taller a guy is, the proportionately bigger he is elsewhere. (Of course, we know they're referring to feet.)

That brings up the final torturous taunt: Mocking our Manhood. It's easy for you to tease a man about his member since you don't have one, but on our list of priorities, it's just below breathing. While I welcome most of the attention a woman may pay to my joystick - making a cutting remark about it isn't. Teasing a man about his member implies you're comparing him to someone else - and our mental health doesn't need that.

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