Why Women CHEAT?

Is it the thrill of the forbidden escape from a mundane relationship that lures women into betraying their partners?. Would you be at risk of cheating? Are you sure? Would it mark the beginning of the end for your relationship or is your relationship already on the way out if you are considering fling? Confessing an affair rarely helps assuage your guilt about your infidelity. Sometimes discretion is more helpful than disclosure.

Critical life events, professional crises or personal vulnerabilities can leave women more vulnerable to an affair. Common stressors that can lead a woman to cheat on her partner include:

1.A shift in status, such as getting promotion at work or starting a new course.

2.Moving to a new area with few friends nearby.

3.Personal failure, such as problems losing weight, conceiving a baby or the loss of a job.

4.Illness or an accident.

5.The death of someone close.

6.Times of transition, such as pregnancy, motherhood or starting a more demanding job that may leave you feeling insecure.


Think Yourself SLIM!


Compliment Yourself.

Every time you catch yourself saying something not-so-nice about your body, jot down a compliment and say it aloud to yourself 10 times, says Margo Maine, a body image expert and author of The Body Myth.

Trick Your Brain.
Hypnotherapist Ursula James says to think of a favourite non-food smell (like perfume, flower or sea breeze) and imagine breathing it in deeply for a few seconds. This triggers the brain to feel satisfied so you don't keep thinking about food.

Relieve Stress.
Stress can mess up your weight in two ways. First, tension and anxiety raise cortisol levels, the hormone that encourages your body to store belly fat. Secondly, we often seek comfort in food that's high in crabs and calories when we're feeling frazzled. That's a double-whammy on your body, girls! to ease tension, try doing something that'll take your mind off the matter and food; for instance, bicycling, drawing or Facebooking!.

Rate Your Hunger Levels.
Feeling famished? Imagine a scale from one to five. One being not hungry and five famished. Don't confuse feeling peckish with hunger. If you feel it;s a tour, you need to fill your tummy!


Do You Have Obsessively Jealous Partner?

One of the emotions that most couples experience at some point in their relationship is jealousy. Jealousy may best be described as an emotion that arises when one person feels that someone else is giving the attention they deserve to another person. In addition to attention, a partner may feel jealous if his or her partner gives time, love, or affection to someone else. Jealousy can become a problem in a relationship, as the partner who is feeling jealous begins to dominate and control their partner’s behavior. Additionally, jealousy is caused when one person perceives a threat to the stability of their relationship, and they may begin to act in inappropriate ways to try to remove the threat. This is when the actions of a jealous partner may begin to cross the lines and become obsessive.

An obsessively jealous partner may try to control the actions of the other person. This may include trying to limit who they see, talk to, where they go, and who they spend time with. They may begin monitoring phone calls, checking emails, or even stalk the other person. Since jealousy is rooted in resentment, if the person who is becoming obsessed begins to perceive that there is cause for jealousy, their obsession may become explosive. One of the dangers of jealousy is that the more the mind begins to ponder scenarios, the easier it is to be fooled into believing that the partner is engaging in suspicious behavior. This creates a cycle that may quickly escalate into uncontrollable behavior.

Obsessive jealousy can be a dangerous mix of emotions and may be detrimental to a relationship. Unfortunately, there is no way of predicting whether a potential partner will experience obsessive jealousy or not. However, you should always be aware of the early signs and deal with this type of behavior as soon as you recognize it.

Extreme and obsessive jealousy is usually attributed to low self-esteem or personal problems. Many times, someone becomes jealous because they feel that they are inadequate. The only time that jealousy may be defined as “justified” is if the partner has broken the trust, usually by cheating. However, it is often obsessive jealousy that may cause the injured partner to realize that they can no longer continue in the relationship. Often when trust is betrayed, the other partner may agree to forgive and try to work things out, only to discover that they are plagued with jealousy. Sometimes, the jealousy becomes so great that the relationship becomes toxic and must end.

If you or your partner are experiencing obsessive jealousy, you should stop and take a long hard look at yourself. First, you should determine where the jealousy is coming from and truly ask yourself if the jealousy is unfounded. It may be possible that you are projecting past failures from previous relationships on your partner and accusing them or feeling jealous without reasonable cause. Trying to think rationally when feeling overwhelmed with jealousy may be very difficult, however, if you or your partner plan on saving your relationship, you will need to address the underlying insecurities that are contributing to the jealousy and resolve them.


Are you caught in a career "cul de sac"?

You drag yourself into the office each morning and count the minutes till the day is OVER. Should you stay in your job or is time to GO?

How to go-Gracefully
So you've decided to resign; here's how to make the break without being booed out of the office:

1.Don't use your resignation as an opportunity to tell your colleagues what you really think of them. You never know when you may work with, or for them again.

2.Do thank your boss for her/his help and guidance during your at the company. It's a small gesture that she/he will remember when it's time to write your reference.
3.Do volunteer to help find your replacement and to train her/his up before you leave.
4.Don't slack off. Sure, your heart may not be in it, but you're still getting paid to do the best job possible. What a better way to leave a position lasting impression?
5.Don't suddenly come down with a mysterious illness during your last few days on the job.
6.Do remember that a bad attitude before your departure can undo years of good work.


Father's care

Involvement, influence, and affection: three keys to father-child relationships. Though they may sometimes find it difficult to express their feelings, most fathers care about their children and families.

In a 1980 Gallup poll, six out of ten fathers said their families were "the most important element of my life at this time." Only 8 percent said their families were unimportant to them. When asked what they found most satisfying about their families, fathers rated "children," "closeness," and "being together" as personally important. [1]

This hearty endorsement of family life contradicts some of the traditional roles or popular images of fathers in our society:

The Wallet: This father is preoccupied with providing financial support for his family. He may work long hours to bring home his paycheck and does not take an active part in caring for the children. Making money provides this father with a distraction from family involvement.

The Rock: This is a "tough" father - strict on discipline and in charge of the family. He may also believe that a good father remains emotionally distant from his children, so expressions of affection are taboo.

The Dagwood Bumstead: This father tries to be a "real pal" to his children, but his efforts are often clumsy or extreme. He doesn't understand his children and feels confused about what to do. He may also feel that he is not respected within the family.These traditional stereotypes are now clashing with another image of a father:

The Caregiver: This father tries to combine toughness with tenderness. He enjoys his children but is not afraid to set firm but fair limits. He and his wife may cooperate in childrearing and homemaking.

This type of father has always been around. But the number of men who choose this role is increasing. Many fathers today recognize that family life can be rewarding and that their children need their involvement.

This shift in roles is influenced by two major social changes: the increase in the number of women working and the rising divorce rate. As more and more mothers join the work force, fathers are being asked to take on more responsibilities at home. In 1979, 40 percent of the mothers of children under age 3 were employed.[2] Instead of remaining on the fringe of family life, many fathers are helping more with child care and housekeeping.
Fathers are also profoundly influenced by the escalating divorce rate.[3] For every two marriages there is now one divorce - a tripling of the divorce rate between 1960 and 1980. If they are not directly involved in a divorce, most men have friends who are. They witness the loss their friends have experienced and reexamine the importance of their own family relationships. Remarriage and stepfathering are also creating new challenges for many fathers.

Because of these changes in our society, many men are being forced to develop family relationships that are quite different from those they had with their own fathers. They cannot easily fall back on their own childhood experiences for guidance. What worked very well for their fathers 20 or 30 years ago may not work at all with the kinds of challenges fathers face today.

These changes in social attitudes mean that men have more options for meeting their obligations as fathers and husbands. Some men will express their feelings more openly, while others will be more reserved; some will enjoy the companionship and play of very young children, while others will prefer involvement with older sons and daughters. Fathers do not have to try to fit a certain stereotyped pattern.

According to sociologist Lewis Yablonsky, a man's fathering style is influenced by some or all of the following forces: his enthusiasm for being a father, his own father's behavior, the images of how to be a father projected by the mass media, his occupation, his temperament, the way family members relate to each other, and the number of children he has.[4] No single style of fathering or mothering, no matter how ideal it appears, is right for everyone.

Regardless of their personal style, most fathers are interested in having a satisfying relationship with their children. Although they might not be able to put it into words, most fathers know they are important to their children. According to psychotherapist Will Schutz, a good relationship needs three things: involvement, respect and influence, and affection.[5]

Involvement: The Foundation of a Relationship

The first step in any relationship is the feeling by both persons that the other is interested in them and wants to be with them.
Many fathers begin to prepare for this kind of relationship before their child is even born. A father who seeks involvement is interested in his wife's pregnancy and makes preparations for the child's birth. When the child is born he is eager to hold the infant. In countless small ways, this father demonstrates involvement - he may gently touch and play with his children, hold and talk to them. By doing these things he sends a clear and emphatic message:

I want to be your father. I am interested in you. I enjoy being with you. You and I have a relationship that is important to me.

Every child wants to sense this type of involvement from his or her father and mother. Without it, a child feels isolated and rejected. The foundation of the relationship crumbles.

What the Research Shows
Research on father-child involvement demonstrates that [6]:

(1) Fathers are significant for children;

(2) Fathers are sensitive to children;

(3) Fathers play with children differently than mothers do.

These differences in play continue as the child grows older. Fathers may vigorously bounce and lift a 1- or 2-year-old in rough and tumble physical play; mothers may prefer to play conventional games like "peek-a-boo," offer an interesting toy, or read. Fathers' play appears to be more physically stimulating while mothers are more interested in teaching.

As a result, children seem to prefer fathers as play partners, though in a stressful situation they may be more likely to turn to their mothers. This preference could be due to fathers spending a greater proportion of their time playing with their children than mothers. One researcher noted that about 40 percent of a father's time with his young children was spent in play in contrast to about 25 percent of the mother's time. Even though fathers may spend less total time in play than mothers, their type of play and their apparent interest in that type of involvement make them attractive play partners.

There are, of course, exceptions to this pattern. Some men simply do not enjoy playing with children, and some mothers may prefer an arousing, physical form of child play. Also, when both parents work, the additional demands on the family could affect the amount of time one or both parents spend enjoying their children.

Suggestions for Fathers

How can fathers become more involved with their children? First, they can give each of their children exclusive attention as often as possible. During their time together fathers could enjoy their children's company without allowing outside distractions to interfere. As a result, their children would feel noticed and special. There is no single formula for how this might be accomplished. A father and child might play, talk, learn a skill or read together. What is important is that they notice each other and acknowledge a common interest. This type of undistracted attention promotes a sense that each is important to the other.

Fathers might also give their children a glimpse of their work world. Children want to know what life is like outside the home and what their parents do at work. Many farm families and small businesses include their children in the operation at an early age. Parents in other occupations may find it more difficult to give their children a glimpse of their work, but even brief visits or tours will help.

Business and industry are gradually beginning to acknowledge that many workers are parents too, and that adjustment in this role can have a positive effect on work performance. Some industries provide day care centers for children of their employees. Both mothers and fathers are able to visit their children during breaks.


Double Standard

A high school student who has already slept with 10 people enters a new school. What people will say about this person's sexual experiences depends on one factor: gender.
If this person is a male, he will be admired by his fellow males, and perhaps even desired by females. Guys will respect him and girls will be impressed by his experience. He is generally referred to as "the player."

However, if this person is a girl she will most likely be subjected to ridicule and disrespect by her peers. Males will try to use her, hoping that they can get her into bed, and females will despise her out of disgust, or in some cases, jealousy. She is generally referred to as "the slut."
"It's a huge double standard. If you're a guy and you sleep with everyone you're automatically cool. If you're a girl and you sleep with everyone you're automatically a slut," said Bianca Penaloza, a senior at Coral Gables High in South Miami.

This player vs. slut philosophy is familiar to most students, and although no one girl deserves to be treated cheaply, the media repeatedly emits messages that this dangerous double standard is correct and should not be challenged.

"What the media is trying to tell us is that if girls are 'bad' or sexually promiscuous it's OK to punish them," said Kim Walsh-Childers, a professor of journalism at the University of Florida who studies the portrayal of women in the media. "They're saying, 'we have no sympathy for you.' "

Although the media want women to be pure, they also want them to be sexy. Advertisements, television shows and movies often only feature overly thin, impossibly beautiful women to promote their product or program. In a 1986 study by Silverstein, Peterson, Perdue and Kelly, 69 percent of female television characters are thin and only 5 percent are overweight. These contradictory images leave some teenage girls confused about which path is the norm, and how each girl should behave.

Men translate only one message from the media: you are not cool if you don't have sex.
"I cannot think of one male hero or main character who is not sexually active," Walsh-Childers said. "Except if the character is a nerd. They want you to think that the only boys not having sex are the nerds who cannot get anyone to sleep with them."

Therefore, it is no wonder that men are praised for their sexual achievements. "Everybody has a fantasy about having all the girls, so other guys look up to guys who sleep around," said Bill Ferrara, senior at Gulf Breeze High .

Women still cannot win. With two pictures of how a woman should behave -- seductive or chaste - teenage girls are set up to feel shameful no matter which image they choose to mimic.
For example, Bill, the same teenager that just related that guys look up to the "player" figure in school, said, "Every guy wants a girl who's pure."

Kim Davis, a junior at Gulf Breeze High, said, "In school, people look down on girls who are considered trashy. But girls also get ragged on for being too much of a prude. Guys will say, 'Oh, why can't you just loosen up and have a little fun.'"

The 1996 slasher film parody, Scream, is a prime example of the attitudes towards women that people deem "slutty." Tatum, the provocative and sexually promiscuous best-friend character, is one of the first to be murdered by a pair of psychotic teenage killers.

As Randy, another Scream character points out, to survive a typical slasher movie a girl should never have sex. Only the virgin survives. This theme is also carried out through other horror movies like Halloween.

Meanwhile, the supposed Scream "good girl" survivor and virgin, Sidney, is a model of beauty and sexiness. Her dress is at times revealing and she fits the American beauty standard. She keeps her boyfriend in sexual frustration while never actually giving up her virginity.
Ironically, the same purity that women are expected to posses is also what potentially makes them unattractive and boring.

James Bond films also illustrate the difference between sexually active men and sexually active women. The plot of many Bond films center around the fact that he sleeps with six or seven different women throughout the film. "He is rewarded for this behavior, not punished," Walsh-Childers said.

The media also sends other double standards into the minds of women. When one pictures the physical appearance of the so-called perfect woman, there are not a great deal of physical characteristics to choose from, Walsh-Childers said. The media only sends women one type of woman to aspire to look like. They send the supermodel image; tall, thin, with flawless skin and hair.

Men, on the other hand, can look any number of ways and still fit into the male beauty standard because the media does not send audiences only one type of man, Walsh-Childers said. "There is a broader range of what is accepted to be a sex symbol as a male. You can be older, heavier, or bald."

Many young women believe older men such as Robert Redford, Sean Connery, and Richard Gere are viable sex symbols. It is not as common for men to find sexual appeal in older women.
Music videos are a very common place where women are objectified while men are heroes. In music videos by male artists, they depict a story which is commonly a male fantasy. In the video, the singer always gets the girl. Moreover, the women are not presented as much more than sexual objects. They are always willing and interested in sex, and that is the only function they serve. They never reject the male, "no matter how unattractive they are, no matter how much of a jerk they are," said Walsh-Childers.

Television has an enormous influence on men and women perceptions in society. In soap operas, the seductive women are often also the villains. The audience is drawn to be attracted to her, but at the same time, hate her for her enticing qualities. Other studies show that there are more employed male personas on television than there are women. The thoughts and ideas transmitted through television, movies, music videos and advertisements are designed to be easily soaked up by the minds of Americans everywhere, especially teens. Walsh-Childers said these double standards -- which have been blamed for damaging female self-esteem and self-image -- did not originate in the media, but the media reinforces them.

"Women are no longer going to have any self-esteem, which could lead to things like drugs and suicide. Girls may end up having sex for all the wrong reasons," said junior Krista Cole of Bloomingdale High School in Valrico.