Are you the victim of cruel fate? Does the "perfect" mate think you are just "cool?" Although it might feel like you'll never find somebody better, there are some ways you can move on...
- Realize you are worth someone who loves you. You are worth someone who thinks you are beautiful and awesome. They might say "You are my best friend; I feel like I can talk to you more than anyone else, even my boyfriend/girlfriend." This is manipulation. So is the look they give you that makes you melt. It's always flattering to have an admirer, but you deserve better than to just be somebody's ego boost.
- See their faults. Nobody is perfect. The longer you hold on to the idea that this person is perfect, the harder it'll be to get on with your life. It's completely possible that you're idealizing someone just so that you can have a fantasy to hold on to; or you could simply not know the person well enough to have seen their flaws. Either way, accept that this person is not perfect, and definitely not perfect for you -- because the perfect person for you would think as highly of you as you do of them.
- Distance yourself. You won't want to, but staying close to someone you want but can't have just isn't healthy. Don't tell the person or anyone close to them what you are doing, as they might try to convince you otherwise. Just try to get away for a while. You don't have to cut the person off completely (although that is an option). Don't call him/her, don't go places where you know he/she frequents, and make yourself scarce. Take the time to reflect on your situation and learn more about yourself.
- Date. While you are distancing yourself from said object of affection, try to date people that you like. Don't settle for whomever asks you out, or you might end up making someone fall in love with you whom you don't love back! Approach people, try new things. You might want to compare everyone to the object of your affection, and you won't think anyone measures up. Stop this right now. You know there's someone better out there. Go find him or her!
- Do whatever you can to make you feel better about yourself. Exercise, eat well, take a class, meet people, go to parties, be wild, have fun. Life is too short to spend it pining for someone who doesn't see you for the great person you are! There are those out there who will.
- Try cognitive conditioning similar to a Pavlov's dog's response. Every time you obsess over this person try thinking about something repulsive (Gonorrhea is a good one). Pretty soon, you will start associating this person with repulsion that eventually the person's name will invoke disgust.
- "Settle" is the key word here. You should never want someone to settle for you and that is exactly what would happen if they decided to get with you. They know you, all of the good and maybe even the bad. They know and they don't want it now. Their loss!
- The object of your affection might notice you are distancing yourself from them. They will try to get you to see them more. Say you have been really busy with all of these new activities and you will make some time for them soon. Tell them you care for them, but you have other things to do too. You must have a life separate from theirs.
Things You'll Need
- A positive attitude
- The nerve to decline their calls
- The realization that you are the most important person in your life