2007-01-24

Are Your Girl’s Good Looks Worth The High Maintenance?


Gentlemen, let`s be sincere - this is a matter of self-assessment. She`s juggling a demanding list of priorities; and if she’s doing it all with the composure of a goddess, there`s more at work than she`s letting you see. If it feels like she`s slacking off on her grooming a bit as your relationship progresses, don`t be too disappointed. She`s only human.

Despite how casual a woman may make the Superstar Illusion seem - hours, years, and loads of shopping, research, touch-ups and effort have gone into her appearance. It isn`t uncommon for a girl to spend about four hours getting ready for those first few dates.

Men do the same things, to some degree; but let`s face it. A woman`s societal value is largely judged by her appearance before other qualities. Whether you believe in these judgment standards or not, you were on some subconscious level exposed to their teachings since before your age became a whole number.

For those of you who do accept these ideals and openly think that it`s important for a woman to always look her best, don`t be ashamed. It`s okay to feel that way. What matters is whether the woman you`re with holds that same opinion. (And be sure to spot the closest emergency exit if you want to voice that opinion around unfamiliar females.)


The point where reality clashes with these cultural ideals is that, despite all of the good qualities that we are intended to foster, our time and energy is limited. It isn`t possible to have the perfect body, academic history, health, relationship, job, family, home, and the perfect state of mind. With a significant amount of effort, however, one may be able to straddle an illusion of having all these things. The real-world truth is that it takes work and compromise - or a lot of luck and good genes.

If you`re one of the many men who are brave enough to admit that you want a girl who has it all, be ready to look at her realistically - especially if you want her presentability to be paramount. A killer body can eat away hours every day at the gym; sleek, hair-free skin on limbs south of the eyebrows is expensive, laborious, and often painful to maintain; an immaculate complexion is nearly impossible to come by. Those awesome, matching lace bra-and-panty sets probably don`t come in multiples of thirty in her closet. There`s got to be a ratty, gray training bra in there somewhere.

Guys are commonly baffled when the diva they got on the first date slowly starts looking plainer. No, she`s not getting lazy. Considering everything in her life she has to micromanage, she now has a blooming relationship to look after, which will be gradually taking up more of her time. That means less time primping.

It`s much like when a woman complains that her sweetheart doesn`t take her out to fancy restaurants anymore or buy her jewelry on every lesser occasion, like St. Patrick`s Day. Guys` resources are just as finite as their girlfriend`s; and a stable, involved relationship entails moving past the wooing phase in which you put forth an unusual effort to impress, towards a more intimate arrangement in which you begin sharing realities. In reality, if nobody`s seeing their legs... a lot of gals don`t shave them every day.

Keep in mind that if you feel nostalgic of those first few knockout days, the best way to bring out the diva in her is to take her on a fancy date again. Effort shown is duly rewarded.




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