2009-07-23

Do You Have Obsessively Jealous Partner?



One of the emotions that most couples experience at some point in their relationship is jealousy. Jealousy may best be described as an emotion that arises when one person feels that someone else is giving the attention they deserve to another person. In addition to attention, a partner may feel jealous if his or her partner gives time, love, or affection to someone else. Jealousy can become a problem in a relationship, as the partner who is feeling jealous begins to dominate and control their partner’s behavior. Additionally, jealousy is caused when one person perceives a threat to the stability of their relationship, and they may begin to act in inappropriate ways to try to remove the threat. This is when the actions of a jealous partner may begin to cross the lines and become obsessive.

An obsessively jealous partner may try to control the actions of the other person. This may include trying to limit who they see, talk to, where they go, and who they spend time with. They may begin monitoring phone calls, checking emails, or even stalk the other person. Since jealousy is rooted in resentment, if the person who is becoming obsessed begins to perceive that there is cause for jealousy, their obsession may become explosive. One of the dangers of jealousy is that the more the mind begins to ponder scenarios, the easier it is to be fooled into believing that the partner is engaging in suspicious behavior. This creates a cycle that may quickly escalate into uncontrollable behavior.

Obsessive jealousy can be a dangerous mix of emotions and may be detrimental to a relationship. Unfortunately, there is no way of predicting whether a potential partner will experience obsessive jealousy or not. However, you should always be aware of the early signs and deal with this type of behavior as soon as you recognize it.

Extreme and obsessive jealousy is usually attributed to low self-esteem or personal problems. Many times, someone becomes jealous because they feel that they are inadequate. The only time that jealousy may be defined as “justified” is if the partner has broken the trust, usually by cheating. However, it is often obsessive jealousy that may cause the injured partner to realize that they can no longer continue in the relationship. Often when trust is betrayed, the other partner may agree to forgive and try to work things out, only to discover that they are plagued with jealousy. Sometimes, the jealousy becomes so great that the relationship becomes toxic and must end.

If you or your partner are experiencing obsessive jealousy, you should stop and take a long hard look at yourself. First, you should determine where the jealousy is coming from and truly ask yourself if the jealousy is unfounded. It may be possible that you are projecting past failures from previous relationships on your partner and accusing them or feeling jealous without reasonable cause. Trying to think rationally when feeling overwhelmed with jealousy may be very difficult, however, if you or your partner plan on saving your relationship, you will need to address the underlying insecurities that are contributing to the jealousy and resolve them.

6 comments:

James Oh said...

Well said and done. It is very natural reaction if anyone is either preceive or real. Therefore, it is very important for us to control our emotion.

theBluesman said...

some level of jealousy is a necessity in all relationship, that's why it's called a relationship in the first place.

nathalia site said...

sometimes jealousy is important make realized how much we love our lovers but if the jealousy out of control its make fire in your relation

Hillbilly Girl said...

Jealousy is an emotion. Any time a person tries to think with an emotion instead of their brain, chaos ensues.

Too, jealousy is just another form of fear. Lasting peace cannot be achieved until the fearful person identifies, acknowledges and works to remove the source of anxiety.

Floyd said...

Too much jealousy will also cause the other partner to eventually become more and more wanting to get out and will eventually lead to a bitter end of what could have been a great relationship.

confused said...

Confused and need help. I have been married for the 26 years. My husband started to become obsessively jealous over the last two year. About three months ago I started to get some very vulgar and obscene emails that were sent to my facebook and personal email account. The person indicated my occupation and various places that I have been as if he was stalking me. I turned these email over to the police against my husband’s request. I found out about 3 wks ago from the police that my husband was the one sending them. At first he was very defensive and tried to come up with reasons why he sent them. Now he is very apologetic and is in the process of seeking counseling. We are also in marriage counseling. I am having a difficult time of forgiving him. I am afraid if I forgive that his obsessive jealousy will flare up again but only worse. I am not sure what to do.