4 LOVE MISTAKES SMART PEOPLE MAKE

Dance around the most common love potholes couple fall into and say ta-ta to fights and failed relationships.

1) SETTING UP HOUSE TOO QUICKLY. It's quite common for couples to become very besotted, very quickly. The problem is, for the first three to 18 months of most relationships, people have their loved-up glasses on and can't make sensible decisions. When couples first meet, they're influenced by a need to hold on onto that someone special. They often see what they want to see and don't make time for important conversations about what they really want. So what can you do?
Make a different commitment, like holidaying together to test the waters first. Also, map out your future plans to make sure you're on the same page. It may sound scary, but it's better to know now than later. The ingredients for a strong relationship are trust and congruence, and these don't develop overnight - these things take time.

2) MAKING COMPARISON. Everyone's relationship is different and making comparison is pointless. Not only does it take the focus away from your own relationship, but they're often wrong. Just because the couple look perfect doesn't mean they still are behind closed doors. The binding glue of any relationship is friendship, interest, affection and enjoyment. You really have to focus on these four things if you're going to make your union work. Talk to your partner about any concerns, think positively and do things outside your comfort zone. Making comparisons and laying blame is just lazy.

3) SEEING EVERYTHING FROM ONLY ONE SIDE. Not listening to each other is a huge problem for many couples. They're so busy defending their point of view that they forget to resolve the issue at hand. Writing your thoughts in a letter, talking through problems and staying good-humoured is the key to having an equal relationship. Don't make mountains out of small issue; it takes a confident person to accept other people's opinions.

4) FORGETTING TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT. If you ask a troubled couple what's missing from their relationship, they'll say quality time. Most people sacrifice "couple time" when they should be doing the exact opposite. Slow yourself down and don't analyse too often. We all make mistakes; the trick to a love-filled life is putting time into overcoming them.